How to change behaviour for good
- Web Developer
- Feb 10, 2022
- 5 min read
We know what’s good for us, but why is it so hard to change our behaviour? We know exercising is better than sleeping late, we know eating healthy is better than the burger, we know studying for that exam is better than watching TV, but why can’t we seem to make that change?
I have been working with behaviour change for years. It is an intrinsic part of my work as a fitness coach and nutrition guide. Recently, I decided to study it in depth so that I could not only help others, but also understand the mind boggling wrong choices I make myself.
We like doing what we do, because it makes us feel good. It triggers the happy hormones that makes us come back to it. Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure. It’s a big part of our unique human ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting. It makes us DESIRE things.
Alcohol, tobacco, drugs such as cocaine can cause a big, fast increase of dopamine in your brain. That satisfies your natural reward system in a big way. But repeated drug use also raises the threshold for this kind of pleasure. This means you need to take more to get the same high. Meanwhile, drugs make your body less able to produce dopamine naturally. This leads to emotional lows when you’re sober. So, now you crave it again. The vicious cycle never ends.
This increases your dopamine tolerance and now you find it even more harder to focus on activities that don’t bring you as much pleasure and you find it boring and lose motivation.
A similar situation can arise with a lot of other activities. Browsing internet, social media, TV, eating salty, fatty and sugary food. Or even constantly ignoring one task for the other. I want to and should write blogs often. But, I seldom do. There is no instant feeling of reward that I get while writing it. It feels monotonous and I procrastinate it as long as I can. It is an important part of my work and I constantly put it up on my “To do” list, only to move it to another week. Today, while doing something else, the thought about writing this came into my head. And it was exciting! I want to talk about it. It makes me feel good to share this because I have gone through this personally. It feels like a conversation and not a task. And I love to talk!
Back to Dopamine. So now we know, that in order to want to do something, the activity has to be associated with the release of dopamine. Now, how do I make working on excel sheets as rewarding as watching a crime series (I am a sucker for true stories). To be honest, it is not possible unless you genuinely love excel sheets and spending hours on it! Some of us find it extremely easy to do and stick with hard and difficult choices – that is, doing what needs to be done, while others constantly struggle with motivation.
What I can do is, reward myself each time I do the task I am supposed to. So, every time I finish up a blog post, or my accounts (Aargh!), I give myself a tiny reward. First of all, the sense of accomplishment of finishing a task you were avoiding itself leads to a dopamine release, but adding something that strengthens it is a smart way to go. I either reward myself by saying, “You are f****** awesome Deepika!” or I let myself do anything else that would purely be about pleasure. Remember, the reward cannot be something that jeopardises your effort to make a positive change though.
What if you are completely addicted and hooked and just a pat on the back isn’t going to push you forward to get more productive and focussed? You need a DOPAMINE DETOX.
Dopamine detox is done to slowly decrease your tolerance to dopamine, which in turn will help you find other activities interesting again and decrease the dependence on your current binge activities.
Disclaimer: The steps and tips given here are to help you make behaviour changes. If you are battling substance abuse or any other kind of addiction, please seek professional help.
Choose a day of the week when you completely avoid all your current dopamine releasing activities. Whether it’s TV, social media, internet, junk food etc. So for one whole day you will have as little fun as possible, removing all sources of external stimulation. Make boredom your friend for the day! Go for a walk, write a journal (not on your phone or computer), meditate, plan your coming week. Why are we doing this and how would it help? There are two main ways.
First of all, we are trying to make you find joy in a few minutes of social media instead of spending the whole day on it. For example, if you eat your favourite meal every day, you will soon lose interest in it. Any amount won’t make you satisfied or happy. But if you don’t eat for a whole month, you are going to savour every bite the next time.
Secondly, if you are completely starved for a whole day, even the dish you dislike is going to be heavenly. This is dopamine reset and detox. We are resetting your dopamine levels to like even the simplest and mundane activities. Boring stuff becomes desirable.
2. If this is too intense, start with a smaller change. Pick a day of the week when you exclude only one of your high dopamine activities. It could be anything. Your phone, computer, TV, junk food etc. You can do every other activity. Make this your schedule for every week. You are going to be bored and that is the point. Your brain has to recover from the unnaturally high dopamine levels. Now as you are already bored, you can easily do the activities that you have been putting off.
It is ok to sometimes do activities that give you a dopamine high but aren’t really productive. Like watching a movie and browsing the internet. But, you need to connect your dopamine to things that will actually benefit you. Like exercising, working, cleaning, reading etc.
3. Coming back to my reward system. You can use the same to motivate you to do the difficult activities. You can reward yourself 30 minutes of TV for 30 Minutes of workout and 5 hours of work. But remember, it has to be after you have finished your difficult task and at the end of the day. And no cheating! 30 minutes only, or else you are ruining all the good work you are trying to do. If you are going to do your high dopamine activity first you will not have the motivation to do your low dopamine activity later.
Having said that, you do not want to use an activity which is damaging you as a reward for doing low dopamine activities. For example, rewards of alcohol, cigarettes etc aren’t something you give yourself. Instead choose a substitute that is not as damaging, like a video game. Just don’t let that become another addiction. Small doses only.
So, if you have motivation problems, start this detox as soon as possible. This is not a quick solution. It is going to take time and effort. You have to ask yourself if you want to spend your time and energy on activities that benefit you or that harm you. The choice is yours!
Now let me reward myself for writing this post!
If you would like more help and guidance in breaking or making habits, please write to me on deepika@thefitfoodietravels
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